Control

I missed my blog post yesterday. Ironic, since yesterday was "I Am In Control Day."

Before I tell you what happened, and what I've learned from it all, let me begin by telling you the history behind yesterday's "day." According to www.holidayinsights.com:

"On March 30, 1981, President Ronald Reagan was wounded in an assassination attempt. Lots of confusion prevailed. In the White House, then Secretary of State Alexander Haig was taken a little out of context when he said "I am in control here". Instead of focusing upon the entire statement, people and the press foscused upon these few words. Political uproar eventually led to his resignation. On that infamous day, I am in Control Day was born. History sometimes fades with time. Alexander Haig's statement was all but forgotten. Meanwhile, this special day continued on, and evolved. People came to think about this day in a different context. They personalized it into a day to get their life in control. In that sense, today is definitely a call to action. "I am in Control Day" is your chance to get things in order and under control."

So began my quest to gain back some control in my own life. Control over a routine that had gotten out of whack that now my hubby is home 24/7 with nothing to do. Control over my own work schedule. Control over the finnicky eating habits of my 17 month old. Control over my house, my personal daily regiment, etc. "I Am In Control Day" was the perfect day to carve our a new plan for our new reality. Or so I thought.

A few hours after formulating my plan, it started to unravel. My toddler decided she didn't like grilled cheese for lunch even though normally she loves it. My stomach started churning and I spent much of the afternoon in the bathroom or lying on the couch wishing someone would put me out of my misery. Frustrations grew when the baby wouldn't nap - at all - all afternoon, and ... well, you get the picture. It was all downhill from there.

I went to bed last night feeling lousy, overwhelmed, exhausted, irriated and ... yes... out of control. I didn't even have the time or energy to blog about it, which was probably good since you wouldn't have wanted to read what I would have written anyway!

The light of day didn't bring any relief from yesterday's agony. Still feeling lousy I had to drag myself out of bed and into work for an 8 a.m. meeting, leaving my poor hubby, who had been up all night with our toddler or simply because he couldn't sleep, home with our toddler. I dragged myself through a morning of meetings and work, only to get home... wishing that I could collapse on the couch... to a hubby and toddler who were full of energy and eager to get out for our planned grocery shopping outting. By the time we got home after sitting waaaaaaay to long in traffic, it was 4 pm and I was done.

I hid myself in the office and stared at the computer screen knowing that I had missed my blog post and needing to blog today about a holiday I had not celebrated. Feeling sorry for myself, I sat and wallowed in my misery when the Lord gently reminded me that while I may not be able to control my surroundings, I am in control of how I choose to respond to what life throws my way.

When that meal I have so lovingly prepared for the toddler that I pray will eat it, get's thrown on the floor with a loud "no", I can choose to get angry or I can choose to lovingly deal with her toddler trantrum with patience and grace. When the plans I have for the day get sidelined by a bout of food poisioning (or whatever the heck that was...), I can choose to wallow in my misery about my spoiled plans, or I can choose to accept that things don't always work out the way we plan and enjoy my impromptu "diet!" Whatever the case may be, it's how I choose to respond that really makes the difference.

So while my attempts to celebrate "I Am In Control Day" yesterday were trampled, and the after affects of yesterday made it impossible to truly focus on celebrating anything today, I am celebrating a lesson learned, and grateful that while I may always be in control (even though that kills me to say), I do know the ONE who is always in control. The uncertain days before me don't see so scary when I know the ONE who holds the future.

What did you do to celebrate life today?

Today's holidays (even though I missed celebrating them): Colouring Crayola Day (hey, we actually DID celebrate this even if it was unintentionally... does that count?); Orange and Lemons Day; National Clams on a Half Shell Day; National Tater Day;

Tomorrow: April Fool's Day; International Fun at Work Day; Sourdough Bread Day