Cinderella

I have been a HUGE fan of contemporary Christian artist, Steven Curtis Chapman, for years, and have been enormously blessed by his music. Today, I join the Chapman family, and millions of other all over the world, in grieving the tragic death of the Chapman's youngest child, Maria. A young life cut short by an accident, and a moment when God doesn't make sense. We simply rest in the hope that He knows what He's doing.

The following song was written by Steven about the relationship between a father and daughter. A reminder of how important it is it savour each moment... because before you know it the moment is gone:

Just "Love Them Like Jesus"

I've been thinking a lot about this song, "Love Them Like Jesus," by Casting Crowns lately. Mostly because my husband, a fairly new pastor, is in the midst of his first experience in walking someone through the impending death of a loved one.

He asked me the other day, "what do I say to her?" "Nothing," I replied. "Just love her through it."

There are times, as Dr. James Dobson puts it so well, when God just doesn't make sense. But that doesn't mean He doesn't care. Nor does it mean that we, in our human finiteness, need to feel obligated to have all the answers. In my husband's role as pastor in this instance, but applicable to all of us with friends or family going through a time of trial, his only job is to love them, to carry them through it, and to remind them that God is there.

Things I Love List

I'm stealing this idea from a friend, who faithfully writes a "Friday Love List" of things that make her smile. (Thanks Sharon!) It's a great way to lift your spirits, remember all the good things in your life and count your blessings. It's also a great way to start a weekend.... So, I love...

1. Sunny days
2. Cozy evenings with my hubby
3. New episodes of my favorite shows (Battlestar Galactica, CSI (Vegas), Criminal Minds, etc.)
4. Mexican food -- bring on the corn tortillas!
5. Hits from the 80s to keep me humming while I work...
6. Shopping
7. redecorating my house
8. Coffee -- sniff sniff... with the baby on the way I just can't indulge like I used to! :-)
9. pics of my nephews and notes from home
10. surprise love notes/emails from my hubby
11. the smell and feel of clean sheets as you cozy in to bed...
12. the relaxed sign you let out as you crawl into bed after a busy day
13. Funky candles
14. tulips
15. playing with my Nikon
16. daydreaming ;-)
17. Sunday mornings on the way to church -- a great time to prepare, calm ourselves and munch on some McD's egg mcmuffins with my hubby before the chaos of SUndays
18. leading worship at church
19. dreaming and planning for this baby on the way...
20. watching my husband's joy in spending a few hours playing with his Nintendo Wii!

The Unexpected Day - Part Two

God has a sense of humour. This I know to be true.

As I indicated in my last post, February 18th started out as any other day off with my hubby. The plan: to have a day of frivolous fun in the beautiful sunshine. God, however, had other plans.

In the quiet majesty of the Westminster Abbey chapel, we felt God’s presence. Both of us were carrying burdens and concerns from life, and when confronted with the stillness of the chapel it became apparent to us that God had drawn us to this place for a reason. Our desire had been to put those burdens out of our minds that day, but the Lord had other plans.

For me, the past few months had been a roller coast of emotions and decisions to make about life, God’s will for me, and our plans to pursue adoption. I was overwhelmed with the pros and cons list I had formed in my mind for the decisions before me. The peaceful atmosphere of the abbey’s chapel forced me to slow down, and compelled me to sit and be still before the Lord. As I prayed, I unloaded the things that had been on my heart and quietly asked God for wisdom. Then I waited, and in stillness I heard Him speak. His word to me? “Let it go.”

“Let it go?” I asked Him. “Yes, let it go. Let me worry about what lies ahead. Let it go and let Me be God.”

As I accepted this and allowed myself to truly let go of all I’d been hanging on to, the peace that was so present in that chapel seemed to fill my soul. I looked around me at the beautiful stained glass, stone carved saints, and simple altar and felt a calmness that cannot be described in words. I left that chapel that afternoon with a new spring in my step. No, I didn’t have any answers to any of the questions and decisions I was wrestling with. But, I left that day knowing that God, in His perfect time, would reveal His plan. All I had to do, was let it go.

We arrived home late that afternoon more rested than ever before, and settled down for a quiet evening to absorb all that had happened. As my hubby threw some burgers on the BBQ, I ran upstairs to change. Stopping in the bathroom to relieve my bladder for what seemed like the 100th time that day, I noticed in the cupboard a pregnancy test we’d bought months ago on a whim. Without even thinking I grabbed it… and then spend the next 20 minutes staring at it in disbelief.

The words “let it go” ran through my mind as I finally composed myself enough to run downstairs. After 10 years of marriage, and 100% conviction that adoption was our only option, I had to laugh at God’s sense of humour. How silly my worrying and sleepless nights must have seemed to Him in light of what He had planned. Suddenly all the decisions that had loomed before me, were meaningless. The Lord had a new adventure for me all along… all I had to do was “let go” and let Him be God.

The Unexpected Day

I haven't blogged in a month... So much for my pledge to be more disciplined in putting my thoughts down and sharing my journey! But to be fair, the last month has been quite a ride. And while I'm not ready yet to share the complete story of all that's transpired over the last month, I can say that this journey is teaching me two things: 1) God has a sense of humor; 2) God's timing, while hard to understand from a human perspective, is always perfect.

February 18th started out like any day off with my hubby. We covet our Monday's together, protect them at all costs and make every attempt to make our day together special. But we had no way of knowing just how special this Monday would be. It was a gorgeous day, and I was anxious to get out in it with my camera. So we decided to drive east to Abbotsford for brunch, a little shopping at the House of James, and a drive in the country to capture some photos of Mount Baker and the glorious sun shine. The perfect day... or so we thought.

It is there that our story of February 18th took several unexpected turns... It all began as we drove along a busy country road, and noticed a homeless man. As we passed him, I commented to my husband about the cute little dog perched on top of the man's shopping cart. No sooner had I said the words, however, than were we horrified to see the cart -- dog included -- tumble down the embankment into the deep ditch below.

Without thinking twice we immediately pulled over and my husband got out to help the man. I stayed with the car watching for minute, noticing that there were several onlookers from a neighboring business, and was disgusted to see that not one of them seemed interested in helping. Not sure how much help I could be, but determined not to be yet another onlooker, I joined my hubby and perched myself at the top of the ditch so I could grab onto the things they handed up to me.

It took us several minutes, and several set backs when the cart fell not once but twice back into the ditch, to retrieve all this man's belongings, but I'll never forget his gratitude. With tears in his old man's eyes he thanked me. His humility was a sharp contrast the the cars that slowed down to take a look. As we watched this man and his dog walk away, suddenly our determination to spend our day "frolicking" in the sunshine and having some fun seemed frivolous, even meaningless.

As we got back on the road with a deeper sense of gratitude for all we had, we both felt a nudge from the Holy Spirit to spend the rest of the afternoon at the Westminster Abbey. It was a perfect day for it, and we both felt that some time of reflection and solitude at the Abbey seemed fitting after such a "Samaritan" experience. The Abbey's simplistic beauty, coupled with a very real feeling of standing in the presence of the Lord was made even more poignant by the "what would Jesus do" moment we'd had with the homeless man. The quiet majesty of the Abbey's chapel took my breath away and yet filled me emotions I've never experienced before. It was the perfect place for my camera as the sun streamed in the stained glass windows, but better yet it was the perfect place to sit in solitude and unload the stress and burdens of life. Both of us had hoped to "escape life" on that Monday, but instead life hit us between the eyes and the Lord met us both in individual ways that afternoon.

There is more to this story, and to what happened to cap off what turned out to be a profound and life-changing day, but I'll save that for another post. For now... I'll leave you with some photos of the Abbey. May they inspire you to visit it some time, and spend your own afternoon in God's presence.

Go here to read part two.

Ode to the one I love...

While my hubby and I don't really celebrate Valentine's day (mostly cuz my b-day falls two weeks later, but generally because we should be saying "I love you" every day), I was inspired by a blog I frequent to think of the things I love about my hubby on this "day of love."

I love the way you laugh out loud,
I love the way you make me proud.
I love the way you love to learn,
and that for the heart of God you yearn.

I love the way you care for others,
I love the way you love my brothers.
I love the way you play the drums,
and that with tools you're not all thumbs.

But most of all I love the way,
you make me feel special every day.
I love that you look like "Hiro,"
and that every day you are my hero.

A Small Sacrifice

As indicated in my previous post, my husband and I have decided to participate in the practice of lent this year. Born out of our year-long desire to be more disciplined in various areas of our lives, the practice (not celebration) of lent seemed fitting.

Seeing as I've never practiced lent before, I find myself drawn to any discussion I hear or read online about lent. In so doing I stumbled upon a blog from www.boundless.org. The post spoke to me and where my heart is this year. "Lent is not something I feel bound to observe, but it is something I want to do this year. Over and over and over again, the God of the Bible tells His people to remember. To write His words on our hearts, to celebrate feasts to commemorate what He has done. And as Easter approaches, fasting from something is a very small way to sacrifice, to remember whenever we have a craving, that Jesus sacrificed so much for us." (Read the whole blog here: "Forty Days of Lent."

As the forty days of lent continue, I must admit that I am enjoying my personal pledge to abstain from television. While, as one friend noted in her comments to me, the idea of getting enjoyment out of the sacrifice seems wrong, choosing to spend my time in other ways has produced results I never expected. My husband and I are talking more (not that we never talked before...), I'm reading more and getting more rest. And I'm flipping on our stereo more to fill the house with praise and other contemporary Christian music that is feeding my soul. I aware of the sacrifice I'm making when I am tempted to see if there's a movie on, or to check out the FoodNetwork, but when I feel that urge I stop and thank the Lord for the greater sacrifice He made for me. A sacrifice that I enjoy even more than the benefits I've found from not watching TV... a sacrifice that gives me hope, fills me with joy, and gives me a peace that passes all human understanding.

40 Days and counting...

I've never practiced lent before, not for any particular reason aside from a lack of discipline, but this year my hubby and I thought lent would be a good way to practice DISCIPLINE (our theme for 2008). We debated on what to give up, finally settling on something that we both agreed would help us focus more on the spiritual disciplines (the purpose of lent), but also something that will help us in all the other areas of discipline we desire to work on this year.

We're giving up television.

I admit it, I enjoy watching TV. I love movies, all the CSIs, Criminal Minds, even Battlestar Gallactica (which fortunately returns to the air after lent ;-) ha ha). I don't even think there's anything wrong with watching TV (although it's getting harder and harder to find anything good to watch), it's just that TV can controls us if we let it. It's easy to lose all sense of time when I get engrossed in a movie. And television is a great way to procrastinate for me. Add to that the fact that TV isn't interactive or social, watching TV means we don't talk as much. It also means sitting on our butts more than we should! With all that in mind then, while in all honestly I was resistant to the idea of giving TV up at first, after compiling a list of all the things I could be doing in place of TV I got pretty excited!

So here's to 40 days (minus Sundays) of playing board games, reading books, going for walks, scrapbooking, journalling, connecting with friends, and being still. It's all part of the journey...

What heaven will be like...

A life well lived is like the perfect risotto...

I'm a slow learner. I'm also impatient. Mix those two qualities together and it can get ugly. But lately God's been teaching me that sometimes the best things in life, the most valuable lessons learned, take patience. Faithfulness. A willingness to stick it out in order to see something simply divine.

Life's a lot like the perfect risotto actually. I'm a huge fan of this scrumptious Italian dish, and order it in every Italian restaurant I visit. But it has taken me a while to perfect it from scratch at home. Not because it's hard, but because it requires something I lack. Patience.

Risotto isn't something you throw together quickly, nor is it something you can guess at, fake or compromise with. The perfect risotto, takes precision, focus, strength, and patience. Just like life. We can't muddle our way through and expect great rewards in the end. We can't take huge chances, live spontaneously and give up when the going gets rough, and still find success and happiness. No, life is messy.

I'm grateful that the head chef of my life is the Author, Perfector, and Finisher of my faith. I'm thankful that the One writing my journey is patient, precise, and wise. Through Him I'm learning to patiently tend to the journey He's blessed me with. To rest in the stillness and rely on His strength to carry me through when I get tired. It's an uphill battle at times, but in the end what I hope others see is a full-bodied life that reflects the tender care of it's maker.

A life well lived is like the perfect risotto: full of flavour from the journey, confident in it's completion, and comforting in it's simplicity.

(White Wine Risotto with Pan Seared Scallops a la Shari!)