I often find myself these days sitting and asking "is this really my life?" 15 months ago my life was all about ministry. There was my ministry/job at Focus on the Family Canada, where I made an impact every day in the lives of countless people who contacted us for help. Then there was the ministry my husband has been called to as pastor of a church in Vancouver. And then there is my "family ministry", which at the time consisted of simply caring for and loving my hubby of 10 years.
Then all that changed when we found out we were having a baby, and now, as she gets ready to turn 6 months old, I find myself sitting here wondering what happened to my life! I went from leading a team of exceptional people in a job that I loved and felt called to, to spending my days in the following routine: get up, feed the baby, play with the baby, put the baby down for a nap, do household chores while said baby sleeps, get the baby up, feed the baby, play with the baby... you get the idea. I often feel like I'm stuck in a monotonous routine that produces nothing of any value, and I daily ask my husband to remind me why I thought I wanted this.
But wait. What about that "family ministry" that was a small but significant part of what I now call my "former life?" Each day when I open my Bible and spend time with the Lord, I am reminded not of what I have given up, but of the new ministry I have been called to. While the rewards of this ministry may not be as obvious as those I saw in my previous roles, the rewards are there if I chose to see them. They are there in each smile my daughter gives me when she sees me coming. They are there in the sound of her laughter as she plays with her daddy. And they are there in the sweet embrace she gives me as we cuddle at bed time. These are priceless rewards from a little one who's world literally revolves around me. And each morning as I spend time with the Lord, He reminds me of the huge role I play in ensuring that this little one knows Him and loves Him.
So yes, the diapers, the spit up, the endless loads of laundry... this is my life. A life of ministry to a little person who, Lord willing, will grow up to be an amazing woman with a ministry of her own.